Standing Out is Overrated: You Should Just Conform Instead

Everyone's obsessed with being unique, and trying to stand out is ruining your life.

We’ve all been there—scrolling through social media, watching everyone show off their 'unique' lives. You feel the pressure to outdo them, to be different. But all it does is stress you out and make you feel inadequate.

People are bending over backward to craft an image. I myself have fallen for it. I’ve changed my brand's headline at least 10 times in the past 4 months.. always chasing something I thought would stand out.

The reality is, anytime you’re “trying” to be unique, you’re going further from who you are.

It's kind of like wearing a mask that tightens in every attempt to stand out. Eventually, it becomes suffocating, and it cuts off your true self and leaves you gasping for authenticity.

When I try to "brand myself" as someone I'm not, it shows in my writing. It doesn’t feel authentic. It definitely doesn’t feel good.

The pressure to be unique is just exhausting and counterproductive.

Instead of chasing uniqueness, why not embrace conformity? Here’s why it’s the smarter choice.

Why you should just Conform

You don’t need to be unique. In fact, you should just conform.

Yes, you heard me right. Fit in, follow the crowd, do what everyone else is doing. Stop wasting your energy trying to stand out. Conformity is underrated.

Conformity means:

• You get along with others
• You fit in
• You reduce the friction in your life.

Being like everyone else is easier. It’s less stressful. Think about it. When was the last time trying to be different made you happy? Probably never.

So just conform. It’s the path of least resistance. Don’t you want an easy life?

But conforming isn’t about losing yourself. Au contraire my friend, it’s about finding where you naturally fit.

And guess what? The best way to fit in is to be yourself.

Authenticity is the ultimate form of conformity.

When you stop pretending and start being who you truly are, you find your place without even trying.

When you stop trying to be someone you're not, you’ll find that you naturally stand out. Your true self is unique enough. Plus, everyone else is already taken.

Authenticity is magnetic; it draws people in because it’s refreshing.

The Problem with Trying Too Hard

Well, first, it almost always backfires. It’s like trying to swim upstream when you could just float with the current. It sounds noble and all, but it usually gets you nowhere.

Just look at social media influencers:

• They start off unique, but as they chase more followers, they begin to mimic what’s already popular.
• They post the same filtered photos, use the same buzzwords, and promote the same products.
• They blend in with each other, all while desperately trying to stand out.

Constant comparison leads to higher rates of anxiety and depression. When you’re always measuring yourself against others, you’ll always find someone who seems more unique, more successful, more everything.

And that’s a losing game.

Think about your own life. Remember that time you tried to dress differently to impress others, but then you felt uncomfortable and out of place? Or when you forced yourself to take on hobbies that didn’t interest you just to seem more interesting? How did that work out for you? My guess: not well.

Embracing Your True Self.

Here’s the truth: The only way to truly stand out is to stop trying to stand out.

Reflect on your strengths. Your quirks. Your passions. That’s where your real uniqueness is hiding.

When you conform to who you truly are, you become authentic. And authenticity is magnetic. It’s rare, it’s refreshing, and it draws people in because it’s real.

Look at Doug DeMuro, probably the quirkiest of them all.

Doug started by making car review videos that were anything but ordinary. People laughed at his eccentric style, his fascination with weird car features, and his goofy persona. But Doug didn’t try to change to fit in; he embraced his quirks and kept being himself. And guess what? It worked.

He is a massive success. His YouTube channel alone has over 4.83 million subscribers. He’s racked up over a billion views. But Doug didn’t stop there. He leveraged his authentic self to create Cars & Bids, a platform for buying and selling cars. And let me tell you.. this is not just a hobby. Cars & Bids is a business that has already done over $230 million in sales.

Authenticity builds trust

Doug’s authenticity built trust with his audience. You know that when Doug reviews a car, he’s giving his genuine opinion.

You trust him because he’s real. It’s what turned his quirky hobby into a successful career and business.

The best part is, when you embrace your true self, you stop competing with others. That’s when you start creating your own path.

Authenticity breeds trust, and trust builds a loyal audience. Your quirks and passions are your greatest assets, so stop hiding them.

When you stop pretending, you make space for real growth.

How to be yourself: an adult guide.

Remember when you were a kid? Life was simple. You did things because they felt right. You didn’t worry about being unique or fitting in; you just played, laughed, and were unapologetically yourself.

Your biggest concerns were which game to play next or how to avoid eating your vegetables.

But then you grew up.

The world got complicated. Suddenly, you had to fit into molds and follow a million unwritten rules. You stopped being yourself and started trying to be what everyone else expected.

Here’s the thing: adulthood makes being yourself seem more complicated than it actually is. We just tend to forget because we are so busy.

I probably fall for this more than you do. And the latest time was no longer than two days ago.

So, I decided to have a conversation with my 7-year-old self again to see what he would have to say.

Here’s what he came up with:

Own Your Flaws

Remember that time you proudly showed off your scraped knee? Your flaws are like that scab—they're part of your story. Show them off. They make you real and relatable. Perfect is boring.

Ditch the Approval Addiction

Now that you’re an adult, it’s time to value your own opinion. Make decisions that feel right for you, not ones that will get you more likes.

Get Comfortable with Boredom

Remember those endless summer days with nothing to do? Boredom was your playground for creativity. Nowadays, you’re so plugged in that you forgot how to be alone with your thoughts. Unplug. Embrace boredom. It’s where your true self is hiding.

Less is More

As a kid, your room had a few treasured toys. Those were enough to fill your days with joy. Stop cluttering your life to seem interesting. Focus on a few passions and dive deep. Mastery is sexy. Spreading yourself thin is not.

Radical Honesty

You know us kids—we’re brutally honest. We’ll tell you if your breath stinks or your joke isn’t funny. Since you became an adult, you sugarcoat everything. Start telling the truth, even when it’s awkward. Radical honesty builds trust and dismantles fake personas. It’s liberating. Try it. You’ll remember how good it feels.

Celebrate Your Weirdness

Remember your obsession with dinosaurs and shiny pebbles? Those quirks made you special. Lean into your freakishness. Whether it’s a bizarre hobby, a unique style, an unconventional belief. Embrace it. Weird is memorable. Normal is forgettable.

Question Everything

Why don’t you keep asking “why” anymore? Never stop being curious. Question societal norms, personal beliefs, even your own thoughts. Hell, even question my advice while you’re at it. Critical thinking and lifelong learning are keys to authenticity.

Well, I got schooled by a 7-year-old, and I guess he’s right. Sometimes, the best advice comes from our younger, more honest selves. Turns out, adulting is just a fancier term for finding our way back to that kid who knew exactly how to be real.

Final Thoughts

Embracing your true self is a powerful journey. It requires courage, self-reflection, and vulnerability.

This week, take one step towards being more authentic—whether it’s owning your flaws, being brutally honest, or ditching the need for approval.

Share your journey with me, and let’s inspire others to do the same.

Authenticity attracts real connections, builds trust, and leads to a fulfilling life. Remember, in a world full of copies, your true self is your greatest asset.

Strategizingly yours,

Ben.

P.S. If you found this newsletter helpful, don’t be selfish. Forward it to a friend who needs to hear this message too.

P.P.S Are you that friend? Well, your buddy is awesome for sharing. Why don't you and be the one spreading the wisdom next week?